In the future we'll all be gay
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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