a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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