She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
