he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
