The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
