Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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