Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
