They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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