Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
