She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
