For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
