the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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