Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I want a musical about memes.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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