Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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