She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
