Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
