I feel like abortions should bother me more
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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