1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
