Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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