I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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