you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
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