guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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