take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
