i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
