Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
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