am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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