ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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