I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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