Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
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