I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
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