that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
