Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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