Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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