Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
