he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
