I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
