Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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