that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
