I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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