You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize