we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
