The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
