He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
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