party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
my being single is dangerous.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
