Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
