If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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