Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
