I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
