New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
It's just like the Real World with babies
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
