why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
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