pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He? As in you personified your dick?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
