Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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