I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
