I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
