if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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