That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She even gives head with a lisp.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I would fuck him just for his dog
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
