i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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