blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
it's great music for shaving your balls
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
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