Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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