Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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