My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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