where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
