I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
