She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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