do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
