In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
