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ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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